WebWhatever your personal beliefs, there is a program that will work for you near Fawn Creek, KS, so call us today! Cyd played the guitar and sang along, doing many of her own songs. DeFord, Alexandra R., Mar 2, 1991 June 25, 2010. Learn how to enable JavaScript on your browser, Whenever he speaks, sportswriter Frank Deford knows people will bring articles for him to sign. . It's stayed with me for almost 30 years. The victim in this film is Alexandra Miller Deford, who was born Oct. 30, 1971, and died Jan. 19, 1980. She calls her brother chrish but his real name is christopher. Also, the monster was stepping on a house. (Getty). Frank Deford (Craig T. Nelson) and his wife, Carol (Bonnie Bedelia), are still struggling to cope with their loss, and things in general are getting worse, not better. I feel tears welling up. I see her friends getting older, I see her with them, and at the same time I am crying out that they must stop. And then, all of a sudden, she's just gone; there's no more. Not that; but, uncannily, Alex always understood that something in her was already a woman, and she became what she had to be in the proper place. Frank has begun writing his book, recalling that, for the man who believed he had everything, the birth of Alex was just the icing on the cake. ADDITIONAL SERVICES, Tuesday, 11am, Gospel Assembly Church, 9600 E. 47th St., Kansas City, MO. Resend Activation Email, Please check the I'm not a robot checkbox, If you want to be a Photo Volunteer you must enter a ZIP Code or select your location on the map. "I started taking notes," he said, "but I was kidding myself. Add to your scrapbook.
Learn more about managing a memorial . "That's a car."
When my infant daughter was ill, a doctor wondered if she wasn't suffering from CF. What a loss.. Andrew Brandt (@AndrewBrandt) May 29, 2017. That was a good evening, sort of an observation evening."
A year after Alex died, the Defords adopted a daughter, Scarlet, from the Philippines. . (Getty). cemeteries found within miles of your location will be saved to your photo volunteer list. 2023 Dove-Sharp & Rudicel Funeral Home. Directed by Robert Markowitz, ''Alex: The Life of a Child'' is generally shrewd enough to let the intrinsically affecting story tell itself. Unfortunately you do not know -- the last piece of the puzzle may elude you.". I don't know anyone with cystic fibrosis and I don't even have kids but I found this book so easy to jump into. This is a digitized version of an article from The Timess print archive, before the start of online publication in 1996. Or sometimes I think, what would Alex want me to do here? I read this at ten years old. I normally don't read books like these but I was given this book, along with some others, to read. Quickly see who the memorial is for and when they lived and died and where they are buried. My house, said Chris. Death: January 19, 1980 (8) Westport, Fairfield County, Connecticut, United States (Cystic fibrosis) Immediate Family: Daughter of Frank Deford and Frank and Carol have two grandchildren: Annabel (7) and Hunter (5).
It's terribly sad but very well written - it feels like someone is just talking to you instead of reading a book. It's a good story and well told, and the short chapters move quickly. When someone called up and the phone machine went on, the caller heard the shower running. The memory of her father's account of her life is very vivid, years later. . FOR ALL OF YOU WHO LOVE SAD STORY'S, THIS IS THE BOOK FOR YOU. Right now, I die. Shooting on "Alex" began last Oct. 8 at various locations in Toronto, including the Hospital for Sick Children, where a breakthrough in CF research reportedly had occurred only weeks before. https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Alex:_The_Life_of_a_Child&oldid=1134714190, Articles with unsourced statements from July 2020, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 20 January 2023, at 05:21. I say, I'm sorry I did that, Alex. We can never know if the person in line at the grocery store is celebrating in their hearts over good news or merely holding it together until they can get in their cars or homes to fall apart. Her illness progressively worsened, but she survived through the holidays. Written by her father, Alex's story is one of a crippling disease and tutus. Deford said he and Chris watched the film recently. Carol and Frank have two surviving children: Christian (age 48) and Scarlet (age 37). The pneumonia. . I just said, "Yes," and after we hugged each other, she left the room, because, I knew, she wanted to let me cry alone. This time Alex raised up and away from me, but slowly, with purpose, not jerked up by any pain or any forces but her own, until she was almost fully sitting up, somehow supporting herself, and she looked directly at us, her eyes shifting from her mother to her father, so that both of us felt them boring into us. Funeral Home website by. Her classmates described Alex as a child that did not use her disease to make excuses for herself and that she loved to laugh and be involved in everything. The book depicted Alex's discomfort with her frequent visits to the hospital as a cause of often feeling lonesome and missing social activities. . And then we rave at their imagination. I saw the TV-movie of Alex's story in the late 1980s as a kid and it really touched me. I won't tell what happens to Alex at the end of the book, but what I can say is it is heartbreaking ending. Share this memorial using social media sites or email. She was a student at Greens Farms Elementary School. They had heard that there was a little girl with a strange disease and that she had "club fingernails." I even reread it years later. A system error has occurred. It frightens me most that I will meet some great test in my lifemaybe one for my life, as she didand I will not be able to do as well as my little baby girl did. All photos appear on this tab and here you can update the sort order of photos on memorials you manage. The couple was married in Newport, Rhode Island, in 1965. Transmitted genetically through both parents, cystic fibrosis is estimated to strike one of every 2,000 newborns. But our Chris is a Christian, and going from the "Chris" to the "-tian" requires the bridge of an sh sound, so that spelled phonetically, it is more properly Chrishtian, and therefore, in the diminutive, it really should be Chrish. . Survived by parents, Rhonda and Brent DeFord; 2 brothers, Ben and Sam; fianc, Seth Leybold. I couldn't tell you how many times I teared up. In fact, best of all for them was when the formal interview was finished and I would permit them to make optional noises into the microphone. I think there is something to be said for writing that moves us so emotionally that it can bring us to tears. Oh, and how they also seemed to call to us with such unbelievable love. It is a short book, 196 pages: "Alex: The Life of a Child," short like her life. It was soon apparent to me, too, that the psychologist was annoyed that we wouldn't admit to any traumas, beatings, or orgies at our house. The one unfortunate exception is Alex's death scene, where the lighting suddenly shifts to the kind of glowing nimbus that Hollywood generally reserves for Bible epics. Frank made sure that Christian would have a small part in the movie about Alexs life. She was sick almost from the day she was born, Frank told the Washington Post in 1986. "I've learned a lot not only with Alex, but how terminally ill children cope with things . . It was the first time a book ever made me cry, and I've seldom been touched so deeply by a story since. You can customize the cemeteries you volunteer for by selecting or deselecting below. She symbolizes many of the adults with whom Alex became friends. I'm actually surprised to see that so many people read this book as a pre-teen at least I know that I'm not the only masochistic weirdo! Young children never have the foggiest notion what they might have drawn. Also, one whole interview I later erased by mistake. Gennie just didn't get it. Try again later. So many poignant moments and just regular living in eight short years. Failed to delete memorial. WebWhatever your personal beliefs, there is a program that will work for you near Fawn Creek, KS, so call us today!
In addition, cystic fibrosis is "a very demanding disease. I still think of Alex to this day, as an adult; especially now that I have my own children. Oh, there are flashbacks. For a few months there, right after Alex was born, I thought I had just about everything a man could want, at least in a textbook kind of way. Carol Deford confirmed hisdeath to the Washington Post on Monday, adding that he passed away in their Key West home. But when it is a child who dieswhen it is your childas the grief fades naturally, there still remains that vacuum, and it is replaced by anger. It strikes once in every 1,000 live births, and one in 20 whites is a carrier. I am so sick of crying. Leave condolences in the Guest Book, send sympathy flowers, and pay respect to your loved one. She said, "I love you, Chris," when her brother came into her room to say good-bye to her. Frank Deford is survived by his wife and their two surviving children, Scarlet and Christian. To Cyd, alone, the night before, in her room, Alex said, "Good-bye forever," and then, to a new nurse, one she liked but hadn't grown that close to, Alex was almost matter of fact. There's a one in four chance their baby will have it, a one in four chance he'll be free and clear and two in four chances he'll be a carrier. He just dissolved right in front of me. Somehow, like other youngsters in similar situations, she seemed to know that she wouldn't live a normal life, or a long one. Burial will be at Hillcrest Cemetery in North Vernon. WebThe City of Fawn Creek is located in the State of Kansas. This is an instance where a television movie decidedly transcends its formula. Anyway, then Alex came on the microphone, crying out, "Oh, it's the telephone, Dad. I found that Alex reminded me of this niece and I got choked up as I read what she said to her parents and others. [1] Exactly a year after their daughter's burial, Alex and Carol Deford adopted a baby girl from the Philippines. Born March 5, 1952, in Bedford, Mr. DeFord was the son of Max and Betty Alice Wright DeFord. [3] Many sections of the book show Alex's love for dress-up and jewelry that was gaudy and glittering. Your account has been locked for 30 minutes due to too many failed sign in attempts. Tulsa, OK, 74106 60.45 miles from the center of Fawn Creek, KS. Writing this book brought it all back, all those years, the grief, the memories that normally would be fading by now. 37 years of amazing storieshttps://t.co/gRUJksc9Fh pic.twitter.com/9iEo13h85l, Gillian Ferris, KNAU (@GillianFerrisKN) May 5, 2017. Calling is from 4 to 8 p.m. Sunday. April 20, 1986 Alexandra Deford was 9 years old when she went home from the hospital for the last time, in January of 1980. . [1], The start of third grade was the beginning of the end for Alex when she had a collapsed lung.
It left an indelible impression on my life. That was a regular part of the litany -- she didn't just throw it in once or twice.". The funeral will be at 2 p.m. Monday, March 27, at Dove-Sharp & Rudicel Funeral Home with the Rev. After she died, I woke up one morning and suddenly I remembered that I didn't have to get up and do the therapy any more. To preserve these articles as they originally appeared, The Times does not alter, edit or update them.
Frank was apprehensive at the idea of what he She's my hero.". A beautiful book about a beautiful child named Alex.Alex couragously fought cf for 8 years.I have an original copy of the book,as well as the updated edition,and a copy of the movie,starring Gennie James as Alex.Alex dreamed of the day a cure for cf would be found.Today much work has been done in cf research.But much more needs to be done wich is why involvment in cf fundraising is so important!I would recommend this beautiful book to anyone wanting to read about a couragous child who never let her cf get her down.Alex was a sweet and loving little girl.I like to think that some where in heaven both Alex and my cousin Madison who lost her battle with cf at the age of 11,are playing together,laughing not having to pause to catch a breath or cough,and playing with their dogs together!!! Our professional and caring staff is dedicated to working with your family to provide assistance in selecting high quality and affordable funeral services during a time of grief. Hearing from people like that means more to me than anything.". But Alex was also a spunky and perhaps extraordinary little girl, and after her death, her father, Sports Illustrated senior writer Frank Deford, wrote the touching Alex: The Life of a Child (Viking), excerpted in People magazine and carried in Readers Digest. I think some of this came simply from being around adults more than other children, because she was so often in the hospital. Frank was apprehensive at the idea of what he initially felt would be "replacing" Alex. Scarlet is Alex's legacy. The book depicts Alex's determination to make the best of her circumstances and brings awareness to the disease that took her life. Deford began to write his tribute to his daughter and to continue speaking on behalf of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, on whose board he has served for more than a decade.
And then the high fevers. Why, some stranger coming across Alex's stuff would think she must have spent most of her life drawing. That doesn't mean that I don't go back to my hotel room and break up. The disease began with her lungs and pancreas. Imagine knowing how, as a child, to go about dying. And, at that, still just as open, they were also blank. I read the first half of the book as I listened to my own son cough & try to get to sleep with a cold..thinking about how each day of their lives must have been. It wasnt until Carol cited a prayer Alex used to say that he agreed to the adoption.
His daughter, Alexandra, passed away as a child in 1980. A LOT OF 8-year-olds have died of cystic fibrosis. For several What would she expect me to do? The last thing I have of Alex on tape is a recording she made with me one soft, shining day the summer before she died. She lives inside me always. I said I thought that a monster movie Chris had seen the other evening on television had made a considerable impression on him. This book is for when you need a good cry. 
But this time, before Barbara knew what hit her, Alex said only, "Good-bye," and threw her arms around her. I read it many times, and it never lost its impact. He grew with her as she became more like an adult. Frank Deford's mouth twisted in revulsion. Let's not pretend.''. WebMiss Alexandra M. Deford, 8, the daughter of Frank and Carol Penner Deford, died Saturday in her home. Even now I say to myself, at least, at least you could have had the flashbulbs. As the years went by, she would begin to ask more and more questions about death to those she entrusted to tell her the truth as she was beginning to come to terms with her fate. Deford tells theWashington Post, Id finally decided to tell him Sunday that she was dying, and in fact she died on Saturday . His 1982 book about the family ordeal has now been adapted, with Mr. Deford's retaining script-approval rights, by Nigel and Carol Evan McKeand, the producer-writers of the series ''Family.'' Alex to me was as wonderful as God his self. For several "[7] Reviewing for The San Francisco Chronicle, Donald Chase writes that Alex's "extraordinary, heart-rending humor and nobility during her painful ordeal" are "captured in the film". Though the movie received positive reviews, Carol told Peoplethe idea of publicizing such a personal part of their life made her anxious at first. [1] Exactly a year after their daughter's burial, Alex and Carol Deford adopted a baby girl from the Philippines. . Always before, when she left Yale-New Haven Hospital , Alex would laugh and say something like this to Barbara: "Okay, I'll see you the next time they make me come back to this stupid old place." . The story of her life is mostly written in chronological order with certain recollections from her final years weaved in between. She was, on the one hand, utterly vulnerable, helpless against this disease that was destroying her day by day, and yet she was, often, quite cooleven professional, I would sayin the way she conducted herself as a patient, as a victim. Like it's genetic and takes two carriers to pass it on. . And please, dear God, find a cure for my disease.' "There's no question that it's difficult to go through this. What Alex meant was "wouldn't this have been great" if she were going to live out a normal life. Basically, it's a white disease. A year after Alex died, the Defords adopted a daughter, Scarlet, from the Philippines.
"Pass the soap, Mom!". It's a tough read. Birthplace: Danbury, Fairfield County, Connecticut, United States. Reviewing her work, I can see that Alex did begin to develop some specialties in the art line as she got older: houses (always with smoke curling out of chimneys), bunny rabbits and dogs (you could tell them apart because bunny rabbits were the ones in spring), flowers and trees, both more resembling lollipops, and rainbows. Try again later. You have chosen this person to be their own family member. But what it's like to be 8 . She was a student at Greens Farms Elementary School. Residents of Fawn Creek Township tend to be conservative. Frank DeFord wrote this book shortly after his daughter, Alex, died in 1980 from cystic fibrosis at the age of eight. WebOn January 19, 1980, Alex died in her home surrounded by her loved ones. The guilt is overwhelming when you have a child who dies. ", Eight-year-old Gennie James, who played Sally Field's daughter in "Places in the Heart," is a Texan who retained traces of her southern accent, said Deford. Please complete the captcha to let us know you are a real person. The final pages are an epilogue describing the Deford family's experiences after her passing. It becomes a really significant portion of your life.". Or purchase a subscription for unlimited access to real news you can count on. She was a student at Greens Farms Elementary School. She was very perceptive, and a lot of that was focused by the disease. . https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/5003296/alexandra-miller-deford. However, reading the account of a father watching his child die - I had not realized just how truly brutal it could be to all involved, how this disease could take over the lives of all it touched. Check Background. cemeteries found within kilometers of your location will be saved to your photo volunteer list. I read it as a young teen and it affected me so much and I have never forgotten Alex. I'm not going to rate this book with stars. Alex started calling her brother that when she was about four years old. Learned about cystic fibrosis which I knew next to nothing about. And, naturally, nobody ever had any flashbulbs at the right moment. Birthplace: Danbury, Fairfield County, Connecticut, United States. I thought it was a terrific idea for other people." So far it has done well, but he said he didn't care about that. . Calling is from 4 to 8 p.m. Sunday. Uh-oh, it looks like your Internet Explorer is out of date. Burial will be at Hillcrest Cemetery in North Vernon. After years of training and adventure, Son Goku has become, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Gone Girl, and the basis for the major motion picture starring Charlize TheronLibby Day was seven when her mother and, Una historia adictiva y formidablemente escrita que, a travs del misterio, indaga en el papel de la memoria y nos adentra en los sentimientos ms crudos del ser, NOW AN HBOLIMITED SERIES STARRING AMY ADAMS,NOMINATED FOR EIGHT EMMY AWARDS, INCLUDING OUTSTANDING LIMITED SERIESFROM THE #1NEW YORK TIMESBESTSELLING AUTHOR OFGONE. WebOther Elizabeth Deford's; Court Records Found! All Rights Reserved. I really felt that I would be irresponsible if I did not write the book. "And more than that. Each time I see Wendy or Aimee or any of them appearing older it hurts me more, for they are the most direct links I have with Alex, they are the contemporary connection. Please ensure you have given Find a Grave permission to access your location in your browser settings. And all of those that Alex did. Deford, 45, a 21-year veteran of Sports Illustrated with six books under his belt, knew he was going to write something when Alex was only 2, when she had seemingly got over her crisis-ridden infancy and was living a more or less normal life, if you didn't count the mist machine, the medicines, the daily inhalation treatment and the poundings. ", And then I said, "Hey, I'm sorry, all the Defords are in the shower here, but if you'll just leave your name and your number and any message when you hear the beep, after I get out and get dried off and put some baby powder on, I'll call you right back, okay? Frank Defords Family: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know, Copyright 2023 Heavy, Inc. All rights reserved. HEAFEY-HEAFEY-HOFFMANN DWORAK & CUTLER Mortuaries and Crematories 7805 West Center Road Omaha, Nebraska 68124 (402) 391-3900, Your email address will not be published. The book made me cry. A dramatization of the book aired as an ABC special, starring Gennie James as Alex, Craig T. Nelson as Deford, Bonnie Bedelia as Carol Deford and Daniel Corkill as her brother, Christian, and its script earned an Emmy nomination in 1986. You need a Find a Grave account to continue. I was driving along in my carthis was right after she diedand it was a beautiful clear day. He earned $82 for his day's work. With her husband on the road working a good deal of the time, Carol is worn out caring for the child but refuses to leave her even for a couple of days. His book, "Alex: The Life of a Child," is the most moving memoir I have ever read, probably because my daughter Erin and I feel like Franks relationship with his daughter Alex mirrored our own. ", "Apart from the sadness, there was relief: She was in such distress that we wanted her to die. Even if they don't mean anything, there isn't much you can save that your child did, even when it's important to you, even when you know she'll die and won't ever obtain all the official clutter that grown-ups do.
[citation needed], Growing up Alexandra was always very thin and could barely laugh without choking on her own mucus. Alex has a brother a mother and a dad. There was so much time. She was the only one dying. Pause. And please, dear God, help the poor people in this world and please bring some of the poor people to this country. I just finished reading this book. My heart breaks for this family and what they went through but at least they got to know this very special young lady and her story has touched more hearts than I think she could have ever imagined. Fawn Creek Township is located in Kansas with a population of 1,618. Then she was dead, and the mucus poured out of her, "that vile, viscous, green stuff, thick, solid, ugly stuff.". "She would have done it. Leave condolences in the Guest Book, send sympathy flowers, and pay respect to your loved one. There is no way, so far, of knowing whether one is a carrier. . "It illustrates what Alex was going through. This book does a great job of showing you what it's like to have a child with cystic fibrosis and what daily life is (or at least was back in the 1970's) for individuals with this disease. Unfortunately, at that point, late in her life, it was difficult for her to laugh without coughing and starting to choke. So when you think your life is bad look at kids who have cystic fibrosis or cancer or mental illnesses. "He never went through any period in which he complained or cried -- he's a very private kid even now." I wanted to take a moment and thank you again for the very nice service you performed for Iran's memorial. I thought surely somebody from either the Census Bureau or the Department of American Dreams was going to get wind of me and come by and take publicity pictures. Please, please! This one made me cry. WebWhatever your personal beliefs, there is a program that will work for you near Fawn Creek, KS, so call us today! I wish Frank Deford could know that I will show kindness to other people in memory of Alex.
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