Doing so minimizes the likelihood that you will bring non-related issues into the conversation, which can only lead to further distress and irritation. Basic Guidelines for Fair Fighting Here are five rules to tame sibling fighting: 1. Stick to the issue at hand if you want to resolve conflict 9. Maintaining control during an argument is crucial to fighting fair, you need to learn to recognize when you're about to lose it. 3. Stay in the present. If there are lingering issues that are bothering you, sort them out when the time is right. By remaining calm it will be more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. This requires the understanding of some ground rules in order to manage the disagreements successfully. The fighting part depends on the fairness being in place. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. This may be difficult when you think another's point of view is irrational or just plain unfair. When an issue is escalating, try to keep your discussion streamlined. Rule #8: Fighting is an Intimate Process. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. Express feelings in words, not actions. Nobody deserves to know your personal business. 11 Fair Fighting Rules for Couples Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. Accept the current state of your emotions and those of your spouse. Express feelings in words, not actions. Give your full attention while your partner speaks. One of the essential rules for fighting fairness in marriage is establishing and maintaining firm boundaries. Never let an argument or disagreement deteriorate to the point of physical violence. Instead of telling us we can't argue, fair fighting rules tell us how to do it safely and productively. Avoid accusations. 1. These emotions are normal and should not become a problem as long as both partners communicate with respect. Discuss these ahead of time so that your rules can be clear and support the kind of partnership you want to achieve. No personal attacks or Dirty Tactics (Duh) 5. This one is as much for my benefit as it is for theirs. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules _____ Remain calm. Often they both have a hand in the reason for the fight . If you work together to keep these 5 ground rules for fighting fair in place. Express feelings in words, not actions. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Know When To Make Up Final Thoughts on How To Fight Fair Summary What's Next? Express feelings in words, not actions. Basic Guidelines for Fair Fighting Take turns speaking. Fair Fighting Rule #1: No Degrading Language Avoid name-calling, insults, put-downs or swearing. Express feelings in words, not actions. Don't Personalize The Argument 6. By remaining calm it will be more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. Respect and courtesy are essential rules for fighting fair in marriage. When you are arguing with your spouse, don't hold onto past mistakes or issues and dig them out just to win the fight. Express feelings in words, not actions. If you nd it difcult to Your only job is to understand their point of view, even if you disagree. believing that the situation is hopeless. Fighting Fair: Ground Rules Remain calm. About This Worksheet. Fair fighting: ground rules Remain calm. Rule 1: Maintain control. Fair Fighting: Ground rules. Take turns speaking. You may even want to ask your partner-in-conflict to read and discuss the information in this handout with you. Try not to overreact to a difficult situation. If you start to feel so angry or upset that you f eel you may Stop hurting the one you love. However, starting with "I" does not give a license to ignore the other fair ghting rules. If you find it difficult to not interrupt, try setting a timer allowing 1-2 minutes for each person to speak without interruption. Don't hold grudges. The rules prevent interactions from being unhelpful, destructive or violent, and allow people within relationships to break cycles of damaging and unresolved arguments. Instead of telling us we can't argue, fair fighting rules tell us how to do it safely and productively. This often means that the conflict will end with one of you feeling like you have "lost", leading to resentment. Here are fifteen rules for fair fighting: 2,3,4. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. Identify and describe the problem in writing. If you work together to keep these 5 ground rules for fighting fair in place. Stay Focused on the Issue at Hand When an issue is escalating, try to keep your discussion streamlined. not staying on the topic. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. emotions. Your partner will be more likely to consider and understand your viewpoint when you remain calm. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules for Couples. However, starting with "I" does not give a license to ignore the other fair ghting rules. Don't hold grudges. Avoid name-calling while fighting fair to resolve conflict. Disagree over their values, motivations . 2. Be Respectful 3. Use this handout to teach couples boundaries, warning signs, and techniques for handling disagreements. Express feelings in words, not actions. Rule #4. The Fair Fighting Rules handout describes the "rules of engagement" when it comes to disagreements. We suggest accompanying this handout . Fair fighting: ground rules Remain calm. Deal with only one issue at a time. As a result, each part of an argument learns how to argue without doing damage . Tag: Fair fighting: Ground rules. Remain calm. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules for Couples. If there are lingering issues that are bothering you, sort them out when the time is right. Avoid making corrections or thinking about what you want to say. This worksheet outlines a list of rules to abide when arguing with a partner or loved one. 8. Establish common ground rules. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules for Couples. Don't come running to mama (or dad either). Vague complaints are hard to work on. The 9 Fair Fighting Rules For Couples As Per Experts 1. Fair fighting rules allow people to proactively express their needs, manage strong emotions, and work collaboratively with the other person to problem solve and find solutions. When you are arguing with your spouse, don't hold onto past mistakes or issues and dig them out just to win the fight. Do Not Criticize - No going below the belt. 3. Although difficult, it might . Avoid name-calling while fighting fair to resolve conflict 8. attacking the other person without fair warning. Don't inflict pain to make your point. Fair Fighting Rule #9: When Necessary, Use Time-Outs. Vague complaints are hard to work on. Fair Fighting: Ground rules Remain calm. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. By remaining calm it will be more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. Believe this truth: "We're starting here and with grace, a listening heart (and God's help) we can make things better." In marriage and relationships, Discuss these ahead of time so that your rules can be clear and support the kind of partnership you want to achieve. Maintaining emotions and tone are among fair fighting rules. Establish common ground rules. Fair fighting: ground rules Remain calm. Stay Focused on the Issue at Hand. Posted on May 6, 2021 January 20, 2022 Leave a comment. down or criticizing your partner's character shows disrespect for his or her dignity. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. Remain calm. In sports there are many rules that prevent one player from intentionally injuring another. Do Not Bring Up the Past - Implement 48-hour Clout. Doing so minimizes the likelihood that you will bring non-related issues into the conversation, which can only lead to further distress and irritation. Your relationship with your spouse is sacred. Listen actively. By remaining calm it is more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. 2. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules for Negotiation 1. forgetting that we're on the same team. Don't drag children into the mess if you want to fight fair. In sport, a "fair fight" means that the odds are not artificially biased before the contest begins. 6. Give your full attention while your partner speaks. Rule #5: Try to Understand. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules for Negotiation 1. Be specific about what is bothering you. Our 10 Ground Rules for Fighting Fair 1) Accept where you are. Read More on this Topic: 7 Keys To A Fair Fight Be specific about what is bothering you. And if your partner is not their best self, use another 4 letter word instead ouch! Never Interrupt - Implement 2 Minute Clout. By remaining calm it is more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. Fair fighting is the process of resolving conflicts and managing feelings along with it. Don't use your words as weapons. Fair fighting: ground rules Remain calm. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Intimacy means you know their weaknesses and enduring vulnerabilities. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Stick To Your Point 2. 1. Maintain Control. Getting involved in my girls' disputes is stressful, and now their disagreements are more nuanced than they were when they were little. The Fair Fighting Rules handout describes the "rules of engagement" when it comes to disagreements. Avoid words like "never" or "always." 9. Express feelings in words, not actions. Fair Fighting Ground Rules 1. not praying before, during and/or after the conversation. By following these fair fighting rules for couples, the relationship can continue to grow healthy. When both spouses are looking at things solely from their own point of view, it's easy for both of you to think you are being treated unfairly. Your only job is to understand their point of view, even if you disagree. You need to be aware enough to say, "Hey listen, I need a 10-minute time out". The important aspect here is understanding the point of view of your partner and acknowledging it. Use this handout to teach couples boundaries, warning signs, and techniques for handling disagreements. Don't drag children into the mess if you want to fight fair 7. By remaining calm it will be more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Accusations will cause others to defend themselves. thinking that the other person is fully to blame for the issue. Remain calm. By following these fair fighting rules for couples, the relationship can continue to grow healthy. Remain calm. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules Remain calm. This is the Fair Fighting Rules worksheet. What are the Conflict Resolving Skills as per Psychologists? Know When To Back Down 7. A fight to the life. 7 Keys To A Fair Fight 1. (You can't force someone to talk just because you want to.) By remaining calm it is more likely that others will consider your viewpoint. Every marriage has issues that need to be worked on! 2. Avoid making corrections or thinking about what you want to say. Express feelings in words, not actions. Rule #3. Not every time you will have the same opinions, and that is acceptable. Fair fighting rules allow people to proactively express their needs, manage strong emotions, and work collaboratively with the other person to problem solve and find solutions. When parties accept positive common ground rules for managing a conflict, resolution becomes much more likely. Monday, January 21st, 2019 Establishing ground rules in the beginning of your relationship is the best way to ensure that you will stick to them when conflicts do come up. Violating these fair fighting rules is typically a sign that you have already crossed a threshold physiologically, in which signals from the more primitive, emotional centers of your brain have begun to drown out the signals from the more rational parts of your brain. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Rule #2. Don't hit below the belt. Don't Be Defensive 5. Leave friends and Family Out of It. Rule #1. Don't try to talk or problem solve when you're angry. Keep firm boundaries around your personal issues. Don't bring up past disagreements and use them as ammunition for the present one. It's OK that things aren't perfect. Here are fifteen rules for fair fighting: 2,3,4 1. If you start to feel so angry or upset that you f eel you may 1. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Monday, January 21st, 2019 Establishing ground rules in the beginning of your relationship is the best way to ensure that you will stick to them when conflicts do come up. 4. Give your full attention while your partner speaks. No "hitting below the belt." Attacking areas of personal sensitivity creates an atmosphere of distrust, anger, and vulnerability. The rules prevent interactions from being unhelpful, destructive or violent, and allow people within relationships to break cycles of damaging and unresolved arguments. This worksheet helps to prevent issues and disagreements from escalating into unhealthy behaviors and habits. Don't generalize. Establishing ground rules in the beginning of your relationship is the best way to ensure that you will stick to them when conflicts do come up. 1. If you start to feel so angry or upset . Don't Say Things You Will Regret Later 4. Conflicts occur when people (or other parties) perceive that, as a consequence of a disagreement, there is a threat to their needs, interests or concerns. You may even want to ask your partner-in-conflict to read and discuss the information in this handout with you. In short, the 'Fair Fighting Rules' describe the "rules of engagement" when it comes to disagreements. On the other hand, don't wear your belt too high - don't be overly sensitive. Avoid making corrections or thinking about what you want to say. 7. Express feelings in words, not actions. expecting the other person to change first. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. Discuss these ahead of time so that your rules can be clear and support the kind of partnership you want to achieve. When parties accept positive common ground rules for managing a conflict, resolution becomes much more likely. Both must agree and be ready to talk. Stick to the issue at hand if you want to resolve conflict. Instead, talk about how someone's actions made you feel. But remember, he or she may think the same thing about your ideas. Maintaining emotions and tone are among fair fighting rules 6. Fair Fighting Rule #11 - Find the Common Ground Lastly, if none of the fair fighting rules works, try to find common ground with your partner. To fight fairly, you just need to follow some basic guidelines to help keep your disagreements from becoming entrenched or destructive. Your only job is to understand their point of view, even if you disagree.