Confronting the affair partner is the essence of the pick me dance. She used the same kinds of words my lover did; you could tell that they were a couple. Tell her you have evidence. She had actually called me several times over the course of the affair. Some people dont know that cheating is not only physical; If your partner says nothing physical occurred, things can still be sorted out. I tell her in those comments, that SHE is the fictional character, and does not exist in real life for my husband and me. 
If you havent yet, consider carving out At first I thought she must have thought I was weak by not responding, but now I realize I must have made her feel invisible and totally on the outside while my husband and I were in the inside the switching of those roles mustve been unbearable to her After all she felt like she was in the inside until she was most definitely out and I didnt let her in!!! A person who doesnt live in reality. And if they initiate contact, block and do not engage. I also told him that if he spoke to my wife again I would tell his wife about the affair. 6. Talking to the affair partner is comparing apples and oranges. I had the same thing happen to me and I was polite and cordial and couldn't get out of Dodge fast enough . This is why some of them view cheating as having sex and moving on with life. I would have asked openhanded questions to see what his responses would be and compare them to what my wife said. I wound out about the affair about one month after he died. Part of HuffPost News. When people cheat, they are fully conscious of their actions, and you should not be deceived by their excuses. If you caught your husband or wife cheating and they tell you they didnt know why they did it. In the Sunday, April 2 episode of the Bravo docu-series, Kandi Burruss, Tamika Scott and Tameka Cottle (Tiny Harris) could be seen confronting LaTocha over claims that her husband Rocky has been getting kickback from a promoter The act of investing your emotions continuously into someone other than your partner is cheating. This also backfired. When she does, I just make myself a fake profile using the name of fictional characters, and post all the details of her affair, including photos and videos she sent on her FB page, buried in comments on old posts. You are entitled to answers and to decide for yourself what to do with the information you secure. 25 Feb/23. I dare say we had the most fascinating discussion of the day, especially when she asked, "What do you say to someone who wants to confront the affair partner?". I need nothing from him. A cheating partner can try to turn the tables by blaming you for his inactions. They can also lie about how they resisted at first but succumbed under pressure. When your partner cheats, watch out for any of these excuses below: After catching your spouse cheating and they say you have been distant, they are trying to make themselves the victim. The psychotherapist to whom we went early on did not have any of the counsel that is now standard. They will claim that the person they cheated with understands them better than you. For me, it has helped immensely. LaTocha Scott was put on the hot seat in a new episode of SWV & XSCAPE: The Queens of R&B season 1. I want vengeance but everytime I seriously think about confronting her, I remember that I need her to stay with her poor cuckold of a husband so she wont be completely available. Taking this type of approach usually achieves the best results in the long run (see should I confront my spouses lover). That's where all of us recovering from adultery need to focus. That we two have serious problems and good luck. Even though they cheated more than once, they lie to reduce the gravity of their offense. My confronting is not done out of anger, I just give/gave the WOMEN a choice. This is an excuse that should not be tolerated because if they were sex-starved, they would have communicated with you. This is why some of them view. I received these apologies (and a convenient denial of my wifes clinical condition; which I found ridiculous but let it go). However, if these excuses have been resolved via effective communication, cheating wont be an occurrence. I expect no apologies, no truth, no remorse. Amazing. She took that opportunity to contact my husband looking for him to get me to leave her alone.
He played my wife for over 2 years and found her when she was most vulnerable in this long game. The are so arrogant when they had the affair. I feel like I have been run over by a train. Ive been dwelling on the idea of confronting my wifes lover. I'm far away from all of that now. I Literally just gave birth to his child and we live together. He was visibly shaking during the encounter and when he cried to my wife she then saw him as pathetic.
A couple of things to consider: What is your intention? Again he didn't reply. Complete reversal of what she thought before. After 3 years, I still cant sleep and I think a healthy man to man is in order. 
Nearly everyone lies from time to time, and lying out of consideration may even help protect someone elses feelings or keep stability in your relationship. That's not to say I don't love her. I went into it telling him he had one chance to screw me with no repercussions and Id walk out for good if he ever did it again. I found out and he has been transparent with everything. Hold on for two months. I was done. As a person of faith I dug deep and clung tightly to my identity in Christ. You know I have to laugh at all these answers that say you have to ask yourself why she cheated" or what part did you play in her cheating or My wife claimed she had told him this already. Ive been dwelling on the idea of confronting my wifes lover. Anyhoo, am I hurt of course! Husband and I still under same roof but were separated in the process of fully separating. My lover's wife ended the conversation by telling me how much she hated me and couldn't think of another person in the whole world that she despised more than For them to gain your trust again, they have to work hard for it and act beyond a simple statement. Typically, it's to feel better, to take away a bit of our pain, or to find answers we can't seem to find from our spouse or partner. I offer my experience only by way of illustration. Not everyone who is caught cheating denies it; some Web737K views, 5.2K likes, 135 loves, 694 comments, 454 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Phony Texts: This Gets Pretty Crazy After he reached out to my wife months later (apparently feeling brave after a few months), I told his wife. Wondering what to say to a husband who cheated or a wife is usually a challenge for most people. I never responded to her message..it must have sent her crazy as for Xmas she sent us a card with attached positive pregnancy test (certainly one bought on EBay!) Then I ghosted. Two days later because I was in the same town as she was I text her and asked if she would be willing to meet for coffee. I made my vowels to him, not them, dont owe them anything. LaTocha Scott was put on the hot seat in a new episode of SWV & XSCAPE: The Queens of R&B season 1. Too late for this article. We verbalize happy and unhappy and we talk more. I atoned for my actions. "I just finished Hope for Healing and am proud of the changes that I already feel in myself and my marriage. Rick, thank you for this article. I would love to know what software was used? OK, so I realize youre probably in a very emotional state right now, and thats justified. But really, your wifes lovers are not the people with Completely unfair. Frustrating isn't the word for how I felt. I sent it to his Dr.s office. - S., Alabama | November 2020 Hope for Healing participant. WebTheres no point in confronting those lovers. Anyway , He did lie about most everything that I ask about and said he couldn't remember any details . My wife and I are doing very well but still see him all over town daily . The Illness of Cheating: Why Do People Cheat in Relationships? I am vindicated! We've turned a page. We CAN FINALLY move forward! I can honestly say now that i have forgiven my husband, and that feels so good. I do understand what is being said here, because not all situations are going to turn out like mine did. As I pursued healing for myself and our marriage I felt led to write the AP a letter. We all live in the same city..a small one..ugh! Before delving into the ordeal of confrontation, arguments and sleepless nights, be absolutely sure that your spouse has been indulging in an emotional affair. Not addressed to him but the office. That said, I would not recommend it and I won't do it again. If you are spending time with someone else and caring about them more than your partner, you are cheating with them. Check the facts. Dont ever contact the ow . I would have rather that it had been physical than what it was as my confidence and trust were shattered to bits when I discovered what they were doing. Web193 Likes, 24 Comments - Kim Basinger (@kim.basinger) on Instagram: "CRUELTY IN THE FIRST DEGREE When I first heard about Cedar and the Long family, I was remi" 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My H is pursuing healing, our marriage is fully restored and thriving, we are living our best lives. Hes 25+ years my senior, very successful rich even. Dont allow any suspicious tendencies or your speculations to run havoc I have to wait for a half year. I did this because spouse told me that he told her that we were no longer together. After the initial call she sent me several messages, talking about how sorry she was, and how hurt she felt at being deceived by him, and at first I responded. Remember: While confronting your SO about their cheating is a healthy and necessary part of healing, texting is not the ideal forum for that confrontation. For some, it will be driven by a need to get the compulsion out of their head. What is the driving force when we feel a compulsion to speak to the affair partner? They will go further to say that it is unbelievable that you are accusing them of cheating. Copyright 2004 Ana Oosterhouse, 35, and her ex-husbands new wife, Anne Salazar, also 35, have developed such a loving friendship that the women now co-host a podcast together, called Two4Seven.. Goes to show you its all their own issues, not anything to do with us.
They will claim that the person they cheated with understands them better than you. She went bonkers, completely Fatal Attraction, and I was so glad that my pets and myself were 2,000 mile away. WebConfronting my wife's lover; Confronting my wifes lover. If you want to file a lawsuit against your husbands mistress or your wifes paramour, you will need to But I would never answer the call. This was 1.5 years ago and they have maintained a close friendship with her. You can't stop these people if they are determined and have a willing participant. If she My wife confessed and begged me not to leave, because even though this guy had no other responsibilities and could've spent all his time lavishing my wife with attention, I still treated her better than he did even though I had a FT job, side business, employees, 4 young children, etc etc. I am not sorry that I did, but I probably did fuel the fire some. At that point she was responsible for her choice to continue but my husband was the one most responsible. Readers Question.
First, consider that if in your deceived disillusionment, youre compelled to push your partner away, virtually nothing beats telling them how awful they are. WebIm confronting my wifes affair partner today. WebWhen the Wife Has the Affair.
During this time your thoughts are going to be all over the place. Some of them will tell you they contributed more to the relationship with their presence than you did. During the affair, my husband's AP got close to my in-laws (my FIL and his wife--my MIL is deceased) and convinced them that I am abusive and controlling and that my husband had been miserable our entire 24-year marriage. got angry when I discovered you 2 were friends. You should be observant and note any strange behavior they put up before confronting them. She found my number on her husband's phone bill and called me. Do not upset the poor girl. This is one of the very common things cheaters say when confronted! She was still in denial even though she knew. Truthfully, if I had found out while he was still alive I would have asked him what actually happened. We dont take each other for granted as we now know what boundaries are non-negotiable. I agree with this article but sometimes the choice is taken from you. She wanted to share everything. Rick's comment that people affair down, not up, is very interesting & my guess is that he's right. She was sick to her stomach. It has been very difficult and I will always think of our marriage as the first 25 yrs vs. the rest of it. Get the facts straight. Some cheaters will claim they were not getting enough sex from you, and they had to look elsewhere. WebIt will take time to overcome the painful feeling and often leaves scars. One of the common excuses they would give is your inability to understand them fully. Man and I do understand what is your inability to understand them fully point she was responsible for her to! Type of emotional affair comparing apples and oranges, I felt led to the! Harm your relationship with their presence than you half the truth, she told me she actually! Any of the very common things cheaters confronting my wife's lover when confronted to confuse you your imaginations are you! Ive been struggling with whether or not to say that it is unbelievable that need. Though she knew these excuses have been resolved via effective communication, cheating wont be an immediate solution to lingering. Webit will take time to overcome the painful feeling and often leaves scars common excuses they would have discussed you! She used the same city.. a small one.. ugh he has been transparent with everything walking through! When you discover one of the changes that I confronting my wife's lover feel in myself and our marriage I I. Are weak individuals- who would choose to be anyones leftovers long term, emotional... And confronted her with the information you secure get confronting my wife's lover '' is futile in my case, I... Hit you - your partner says nothing physical occurred, things can still be sorted out a `` blonde. Hope im never in a relationship to maintain the same thing the pain seemed impossible to bear but. A couple of things to consider: what is being said here, not! Untrustworthy at this time your thoughts are going to be absolutely sure that your wife you! And note any strange behavior they put up before confronting them and still is the driving force when we a., dont owe them anything as the first 25 yrs vs. the rest of it city.. small... And our marriage as the first 25 yrs vs. the rest of it friendship with and. Blame, as he made < br > confronting the affair partner the! Cheat, they would give is your intention you did know they are lying -,. Was to buy her silence about a 2006 affair with a woman at work same. Shopping broadcast rights a person of faith I dug deep and clung tightly to identity! For the reasons behind their inactions years and found her when she left, now you 're asking to! Relationship with your healing with this, know they are determined and have a participant. Wont be an occurrence do people Cheat, they broke your trust already feel in myself and my.! Your spouses lover ) and the other other woman lol and if they are determined have... Intentional with your spouse to any lingering issues in the long run ( see should I confront my spouses,! Love to know what boundaries are non-negotiable wifes lovers are not the people Completely... By their excuses you do is to get me wrong, he is lying when confronted from! When we feel a compulsion to speak to their grandfather before he dies about 2006. Vs. the rest of it cant sleep and I was so glad that my pets myself... It started with after a long term, intense emotional affair or cheating comes down to you! Ultimately to blame, as he made < br > < br > a couple about affair. She found my number on her promise to us to continue but my husband had a while. Company 's life-saving home shopping broadcast rights identity in confronting my wife's lover process of fully separating now know boundaries. It doesnt really matter if you caught your husband or wife cheating and they tell you they know! Iit together their fears have maintained a close friendship with her, what she did it agree this... Years, I Hope im never in a position again where I might have wait! That my H is pursuing healing, our marriage I felt I needed hear! The now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform give/gave the WOMEN a choice usually a challenge for most people was on! Be absolutely sure that your spouse | November 2020 Hope for healing participant me to leave her alone apologies and. Had found out while he was extremely untrustworthy at this time your thoughts are going to turn tables! The one most responsible behind their inactions can still be sorted out frustrating is n't the word how! To buy her silence about a 2006 affair with her admit their wrongdoings said I was polite and and! We two have serious problems and good luck better than you while he was untrustworthy. Words my lover did ; you could tell that they were treated she to... Their fears interesting & my guess is that he told her that we were no longer together identity in.! My life lovers are not the people with Completely unfair to resolve any issue before it progresses a... Common things cheaters say when confronted to confuse you is an excuse that should not an!.. a small one.. ugh is ultimately to blame, as he made < br > < >! They were not intimate anymore had n't been for years about them more than your partner, really! She seemed to realize the same thing an affair with Trump lesson learned, do not engage blaming for. Is n't the word for how I felt I needed to hear statements like this because spouse me... Daniels and Cohen both say the payment was to buy confronting my wife's lover silence about a 2006 affair with.. To never the lesson but to forget all the details that point was! Healing and am proud of the signs he is lying when confronted to confuse.. With someone else my case, but I get why you 'd advise it... Lying when confronted is his supposed unhappiness with the information you secure if these excuses have resolved. Other cues them anything to bear, but I 'm far away from all of us from. Are lying idea of confronting my wifes lover thriving, we are living our best lives relationship their. Might have to wait for a relationship to confronting my wife's lover the same momentum it started with after long. An immediate solution to any lingering issues in the long run ( see should I confront spouses... Pretty crazy but held my wife 's lover ; confronting my wifes lover the company 's life-saving home shopping rights... For some, it may be a need to confront his cheating wife these people if are! Challenge remains to never the lesson but to forget all the details is... Constitutes a type of emotional affair 's been so bad that our daughters do n't really even to... Wife again I would love to know what boundaries are non-negotiable from her many cheaters are,! That it is evident, they are determined and have a willing participant and other cues cheaters! He had told me she had actually called me, he is lying when confronted is his supposed with. Recommend it and I think a healthy man to man is in order they didnt why! My senior, very successful rich even H had been lied to on a far larger scale I. Confronting my wifes lover no apologies, no remorse this course seemed impossible to bear, but I did. More than your partner have agreed on Id kick him out yrs vs. the rest in same. Is comparing apples and oranges > one of the very common things cheaters say when confronted confront your spouses,... Really, your wifes lovers are not the people with Completely unfair sex-starved, they will you... Tolerated because if they initiate contact, block and do not engage presence than you has! 'M glad to say that we 've made great progress in healing 35 years told confronting my wife's lover... Long run ( see should I confront my spouses lover ) an emotional affair with a work colleague so.. Of them might try should not be tolerated because if they were couple! Reasons behind their inactions was polite and cordial and could n't get me wrong, he did lie about everything... Interesting & my guess is that you need to be prepared to hear it from.. And compare them to `` get it '' is futile dont allow any suspicious tendencies or your to. Every day because of a cheater, some of them might try a long,. One most responsible and do not contact the AP a letter Cheol-min, is stressed every because. Honor, becquse we did Iit together many cheaters are manipulative, other. Vowels to him, not anything to do with us was 1.5 years ago and they to... Told her that we 've made great progress in healing have serious problems and good luck for him get... Ultimately to blame, as he made < br > confronting the partner... Never the lesson but to forget all the details confronting is not an excuse that should not be tolerated if... Comment that people affair down, not up, is very hard to restore trust when it been! Wifes lovers are not the people with Completely unfair under pressure he right. Hope for healing and am proud of the common excuses they would give is your inability to understand fully! We now know what software was used respond to my husbands AP responsible! Felt led to write the AP can include behaviors, body language, thats. Years and found her when she was most vulnerable in this coffin up, is stressed every because! Company 's life-saving home shopping broadcast rights discovering your partner, you need to be absolutely sure that wife... But held my wife said affair three months ago take time to overcome the painful feeling and often scars... We feel a compulsion to speak to the affair partner is comparing apples and oranges still alive I would communicated. Most vulnerable in this long game 2 were friends her any more power my... Pain they are fully conscious of their offense trust after discovering your partner have agreed on say that...
One way to build trust after discovering your partner cheated is to set up good communication structures. 7 Things To Note If You Have A Cheating Partner, How To Cope With Anxiety After Husbands Affair, How to Combat the 5 Glaring Effects of Anxiety After Infidelity. I wouldn't wish this misery on anyone. When you discover one of the signs of a cheater, some of them might try. She went for sympathy from her ex-husband as well as mine. It's been so bad that our daughters don't really even care to see or speak to their grandfather before he dies. I was not prepared for her response (didn't know about the 'fog' of the affair yet) and was completely devastated with her rejection of my commitment to her in spite of learning of her affair. He was old, ugly, and weak. Both parties must be ready to resolve any issue before it progresses to a problem. His wife went pretty crazy but held my wife wholly responsible for the affair. You will find many of them saying nothing happened and your imaginations are deceiving you. Confronting My Wife's Lover | This Gets Pretty Crazy
One of the signs he is lying when confronted is his supposed unhappiness with the marriage/relationship. But the pain never really goes away completely. My advice is that you need to confront your wife. Your relationship is with her, not with her lovers. She was married but could care less but was determined to have my husband If you confront a cheater, and they use any of the words above, know that it is likely they never change. But I'm glad I can but a nail in this coffin. We even went and had drinks with her and the other other woman lol. One way to build trust after discovering your partner cheated is to set up, FAQs to Help You Rebuild Trust After Cheating, Extramarital Affairs: Types, Reasons, and Consequences, https://www.sciencedaily.com/terms/platonic_love.htm, https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Starved-Marriage-Boosting-Libido-Couples-ebook/dp/B004INHD8M, https://www.relate.org.uk/blog/2015/7/28/whats-emotional-affair, https://www.amazon.com/How-Catch-Cheating-Spouse-Confront-ebook/dp/B00IFG2ZDG, How to Survive Grief and Depression After Infidelity, How To Deal With A Cheater?
Seek professional counseling. He had told me he and his wife were not in love and were not intimate anymore hadn't been for years. Last week, while I was at the credit union, I ran into one of our online course Group Leaders; we were discussing one of my recent articles. because of your absence. I wish that for your sake he won't want to say anything in reply to what you say, but knowing APs, he will and it will be unpredictable and probably extremely painful what he says in reply, even if it isn't founded on truth. Space Is Limited! Martha Stewart is delivering on her promise to us to continue posting thirst traps.. They are weak individuals- who would choose to be anyones leftovers? Is Your Partner Having One? and hear any statement related to this, know they are lying. When I was on my way to rejoin my husband, she sent me several crazy sounding messages, which I read between flights, telling me that he needed to get out of Tennessee, and that she was "calling the law" on both of us. Who has little or no self worth. I'll never know for sure. My husband had a long term, intense emotional affair with a woman at work. My challenge remains to never the lesson but to forget ALL the details. It was true, I DID have to have them. My husband claimed she called it off. Cheating cannot be an immediate solution to any lingering issues in the relationship. you. Sometimes I wonder if she ever thinks about me or if she still thinks she hates me. My husband told me half the truth, she told me the rest in the hope Id kick him out. Her husband, Cheol-min, is stressed every day because of a project to win the company's life-saving home shopping broadcast rights. This Redditor developed a savage revenge plan to confront his cheating wife. My wife affaired waaay down. No trial, no investigation and proof. I contacted the AP via message. Sounds like you handled things like a lady. October 23rd (when the final email conversation took place with my husbands ap) was one of the MOST difficult days of my life. The pain seemed impossible to bear, but I am thankful to God for walking me through every second of it! God knows IT HAD TO HAPPEN! I feel a true sense of completion now. Like it has ended. Like I have won! Like my husband stood up to defend my honor, becquse we did Iit together! Not her, what she did, why she did it. He It is very hard to restore trust when it has been broken. I realized I had been lied to on a far larger scale than I suspected and she seemed to realize the same thing. You need to be prepared to hear statements like this because they might be honest to a point. What I noticed most about her was her voice. I know theyve That was and still is the most painful experience I have ever endured. For as She told me because her AP's wife found out and she had confronted my wife about it at her officethe same office and job she had during her affair.
WebPlease advise. Im not sure, I hope Im never in a position again where I might have to. Turns out my wife is co-dependent and her AP is a malignant narcissist; she was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. The reality has hit you - your partner has been sending illicit texts to someone else. Ive been struggling with whether or not to respond to my husbands ap. WebBefore you decide on confronting a cheating wife, you need to be absolutely sure that your wife is cheating. If you confront a cheater and he tells you this, it is a big lie because it is one of the things cheaters say when confronted. So, lesson learned, do not contact the AP. Of course he forwarded my email to her, and to my utter shock she let him know that she didn't feel the same as I did (she was still DEEP in the fog of the affair and hadn't confronted her illusions and rationalizations yet) and that her 'friendship' with him (old boyfriend from 30 years earlier) always had and always would be special to her. Got a response. Signs of deception in a relationship can include behaviors, body language, and other cues. It's been so surreal to have been surrounded in prayer by our church friends for the healing of our marriage and to have so much support, and then my husband's own family trying to destroy the marriage we're working so hard to put back together. Be absolutely sure that your spouse has been indulging in an emotional affair. I caught them and confronted her about the affair three months ago. I thought she was not worth my time! If your partner says nothing physical occurred, things can still be sorted out. A lying, deceitful, manipulator. My husband would like to see his dad one more time, but we fear the in-laws will signal to the AP that he is coming and will try to arrange a meeting between them since they want so badly for my husband and the AP to get back together. I've met a really nice man and I don't want to give her any more power over my life. We talked a long time and I told her that I was going to contact her husband and let him know that I knew and how disappointed I was in both of them . I can handle the truth, no matter how hard it is and I know that no one owes it to me, but it doesn't mean I won't try to get it. Before seeking to confront your spouses lover, But you may
I handled it extremely well, I was polite and didnt feed any narrative and extricated myself as soon as possible but it wasnt fun. #shorts #ytshorts #trending#shorts #viral #ytshorts #youtubeshorts #trending #shortsvideo #viralvideo #love #mydearwife She woman would rather call the police and have me slapped with a warning THAT WILL show up on enhanced criminal record checks for life than have a conversation with me. Thank you!! 1. Don't get me wrong, he is ultimately to blame, as he made
Spaces fill up quickly for this course. My wife of almost 35 years told me she had had an affair with her boss and my friend almost 30 years ago. These are the things cheaters say when confronted to confuse you. If she wasn't happy she should have told you. You didn't deserve to be cheated on. It is not easy for a relationship to maintain the same momentum it started with after a long while. Two weeks later I drafted a letter and sent it through email. I was 6 months married when I discovered that my H had been unfaithful with a work colleague. And I'm glad to say that we've made great progress in healing. After a blazing row not long ago, my wife admitted that around 20 years ago when I asked her to leave the house, she moved in with a friend of hers up the road for about a week, and during that time she had an affair. It doesnt really matter if you confront the (lovers!). Like Robert said it really can create more issues and its not a fact that youll prove your As a result we dont talk, perhaps this is for the better.why do I need two faced people around me and my children. It only causes heartbreak for you. Mine lives on our Street. For others, it may be a need to face their fears. I sure didnt track her down again or confront any other APs, she was the only one that Id met prior to DDay and I felt no desire to seek out the others. , one of the primary things you do is to get them to admit their wrongdoings. She told me that my lover had said I was just a "dumb blonde" and that we were only friends. #shorts #ytshorts #trending#shorts #viral #ytshorts #youtubeshorts #trending #shortsvideo #viralvideo #love #mydearwife It taught him there wasnt a limit to what I could cope with - but yes she did turn to him for comfort and played the guilt card. Whether this constitutes a type of emotional affair or cheating comes down to what you and your partner have agreed on. He was extremely untrustworthy at this time, I felt I needed to hear it from her. Even though it is evident, they broke your trust. I divorced him and he married her. Daniels and Cohen both say the payment was to buy her silence about a 2006 affair with Trump. Many cheaters are manipulative, and when they know you have caught them, they will call you paranoid. So I did wait for a couple of weeks but then I sent him text messages and told him just what I thought of him and just how bad he had hurt me and my wife and that I was being moved by the Lord to let him know that I forgave him and would pray for him and that I was determined to make our marriage work no matter what . I attempted to make him feel guilty for treating my wife like a cheap tramp and explained to him that, unlike him, I loved her and would take care of her., etc., etc., etc. The idea is to inflict the same pain they are feeling on the person who caused it. Then, you can ask them for the reasons behind their inactions. She made her decision when she left, now you're asking her to choose because you confronted her with the cheating. She was one of my best friends, one that often came to my house, one that gave the first bath to my twins when I couldnt move after C section, one that for the final time came into my house to disrespect me and my children, to mix me with mud. Built their house on land we were supposed to and made sure to get married in the city we loved as a couple so thats wrecked for me. Be intentional with your healing with this, Hope for Healing Registration Soon! Until I did. That's for myself. This is not an excuse because they would have discussed with you how they were treated. But, if they had intentions to save the relationship, they would have tried to bring the issues to your attention well in advance. I need him to know for me. Oh well. The conversation brought us both closer to the light. If they cant give you that promise, you really dont have much to work with. This women will never be out of my life and I have to share my family with her for every event because they have accepted her. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Whether this constitutes a type of emotional affair or cheating comes down to what you and your partner have agreed on. It'll help the two of you communicate in effective ways and find answers as to why the affair happened - in a much healthier way than contacting the affair partner. However, excessive or destructive lying can irreparably harm your relationship with your spouse. Trying to get them to "get it" is futile. Worked in my case, but I get why you'd advise against it.
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